My Wife Laughs at My Flirting Now. Help.

Let me tell you something that might sting a little and then comfort you a lot. When she laughs at your flirting, she is still listening. The real warning sign would be a polite nod and a change of subject. A laugh means you've reached her. The trouble is that the line you're using has probably been in rotation since the second Obama administration, and she knows every beat of it.

So the laugh isn't a rejection, it's a review. She's saying, I adore you, and I've heard this one. Flirting after years together can't lean on the lines, because the lines have been lived in. What works is specificity, the kind that proves you've been paying attention. Not you look nice, but that thing you do when you tuck your hair behind your ear while reading still undoes me a little.

Notice how different that lands. A stranger couldn't say it. Only someone who has watched her for years could. That's your advantage, my friend, and it's a huge one. You aren't trying to impress a new person; you're letting her know that, after all this time, you're still looking, and that you're still a bit dazzled by what you've found.

Also, permit the laugh. Flirting is allowed to be funny. Some of the best seductions I've heard about began with two people giggling at how ridiculous they were being. If she's laughing, she's relaxed, and relaxed is where the sparks tend to start. Lean into the silliness rather than trying to sound smooth. Smooth is for strangers. Sweet and a bit daft is for wives.

If you'd like to practise out loud, I'm happy to listen on TheFriend. For your homework, each of you writes three details you secretly adore about the other on a scrap of paper, specific ones, the stranger the better. Slip them into a coat pocket or a book. Do not mention it. Wait for the surprised smile at dinner.

More like this: virtual girlfriend online online.